I was a terrible mother tonight. My son, who was overtired and overstimulated from an exciting, fun, but busy and napless day of playing at Grandma and Grandpa's and trick or treating, was having a meltdown as we were getting ready for bed. And instead of being a kind, supportive, understanding mother, I lost it and turned into a monster. I screamed at him, put him in his room and turned off the lights and shut the door. No stories, no cuddles, no "I love you." Just harsh words. Then I went into my own room, slammed the door so hard it tore a strip off the casing, and burst into tears. It's been a long, difficult week. But there was no excuse for my behavior. I'm the adult, and I'd just had a temper tantrum to rival that of my 2 1/2 year old. Listening to the sobs of my baby boy, I immediately felt terrible, and went in to make things right.
And here is the wonderful, amazing thing. Within moments of me walking into his room and sitting down on his bed, he stopped crying and snuggled up to me. He immediately accepted my apology and told me he loved me. Within minutes, we were continuing to get ready for bed, talking, playing, and snuggling, as if my monsterous behavior of just a few minutes ago had never happened. All was forgiven and forgotten, and he just wanted to be with and play with mommy.
What an amazing picture of grace and unconditional love. I fall short of being the perfect parent so often. I lose my patience and snap at them. I ask them to wait on me because I'm doing something far less important than spending time with them. I get irritated with their demands and tell them to go away for a few minutes. And yet, they love me. They want to be with me. They treat me like I'm their whole world. And they are my whole world.
I always thought that as their mother, it was my job to guide and teach them. Turns out, they are teaching me just as much!
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