Growing Up

My boys are growing up.  Cole is potty training, and doing a pretty great job of it.  We're giving him cars from the movie Cars as rewards for going all day without an accident.  So, every time he goes on the potty, we can be sure we'll hear a very loud, "I want a new car!"  He doesn't quite get that he has to wait until bedtime to get one!  Sometimes, he'll tell me, "but it is bedtime!" in the middle of the day.  He loves his cars!  Every time he gets a new one, it becomes his constant companion for the next few days, even sitting on the floor with him while he goes potty! 
He also had his first sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa Hansen's house the other night.  It was all his choice too!  We were over for supper and his cousins were there and were going to sleep over.  When it came time to go home, he didn't want to go, so we asked if he wanted to sleep there.  He said yes!  I fully expected a change of heart when we left, or when it came time to go to bed.  But he did great!  Mom and dad said he went to bed without a fuss and slept through the night - even when his cousin got sick right next to him! 
I'm excited at the prospect of getting a break every now and then.  It was sure nice to only have one baby to get to bed and then have some time to myself!  But, I have to admit, crazy as it may sound, there's a little twinge of sadness, realizing my little boy does not need me 24/7 anymore.  He's approaching 3 so fast, and his independence has just been growing by leaps and bounds lately!  He used to scream when we dropped him off at Sunday School, now he walks in and heads straight for the toys without saying, "see ya later!"  He wants to do everything himself these days.  I think our most common phrase now, besides "NO!" is, "I'm going to do it!" (or, "I was gonna do it!" accompanied by a wail, when I do something myself!)  Now, if I could just get him to feel that way about picking up his toys...!  Strangely, he never had any objection to me doing that one by myself!
And then there's Zach, who took his first steps yesterday.  It was so cute.  He was holding a shovel in one hand and a hoe in the other (plastic toys, of course), and they seemed to give him a sense of security to venture a couple of steps.  I think we'll still have a few weeks before he's walking all over the place, but he's headed that direction!  As much as I love those first toddling steps, I'm dreading it!  The child is already a menace!  He's really going to keep me on my toes when he can walk!  Haha! He climbs like he's part monkey! 
Yes, my babies are growing up.  And as much as I enjoy their developing personalities and increasing independence, it makes me sad too.  I love those little snuggly baby days!  I enjoy the dependence - and the inability to talk back and argue with me! But, grow up they must!  Every day is a new adventure!
I have been a bit remiss in picture taking lately.  I'll post some new ones soon!

Patience, grace, and unconditional love

I was a terrible mother tonight.  My son, who was overtired and overstimulated from an exciting, fun, but busy and napless day of playing at Grandma and Grandpa's and trick or treating, was having a meltdown as we were getting ready for bed.  And instead of being a kind, supportive, understanding mother, I lost it and turned into a monster.  I screamed at him, put him in his room and turned off the lights and shut the door.  No stories, no cuddles, no "I love you."  Just harsh words.  Then I went into my own room, slammed the door so hard it tore a strip off the casing, and burst into tears.  It's been a long, difficult week.  But there was no excuse for my behavior.  I'm the adult, and I'd just had a temper tantrum to rival that of my 2 1/2 year old.  Listening to the sobs of my baby boy, I immediately felt terrible, and went in to make things right. 
And here is the wonderful, amazing thing.  Within moments of me walking into his room and sitting down on his bed, he stopped crying and snuggled up to me.  He immediately accepted my apology and told me he loved me.  Within minutes, we were continuing to get ready for bed, talking, playing, and snuggling, as if my monsterous behavior of just a few minutes ago had never happened.  All was forgiven and forgotten, and he just wanted to be with and play with mommy. 
What an amazing picture of grace and unconditional love.  I fall short of being the perfect parent so often.  I lose my patience and snap at them.  I ask them to wait on me because I'm doing something far less important than spending time with them.  I get irritated with their demands and tell them to go away for a few minutes.  And yet, they love me.  They want to be with me.  They treat me like I'm their whole world.  And they are my whole world. 
I always thought that as their mother, it was my job to guide and teach them.  Turns out, they are teaching me just as much!